Just start.
This is a message I’ve been seeing everywhere lately.
I’m Renee – great to meet you.
I’m a …. geez. It’s hard to define yourself – isn’t it? We automatically want to identify ourselves as the parts of ourselves we give to the outside world. For me, I identify as a mom of two young girls – 11 and 7, wife to a Philadelphia Police Detective, a successful marketing executive working in the real estate industry, and a recovering high-performing perfectionist fueled on caffeine and intrinsic motivation- also I have a solid side hustle as rockstar taxi service for said children 😉
The question of WHO I am, however? That’s a bit more complex. We’ll certainly dive into that throughout this blog – but – here’s a sprinkle of insight. I’ve lived in or around Philadelphia, PA for most of my life but am fortunate to have lived in England for a few years during my youth, and Germany as a baby. I’m a firm believer in being the best you can and that “how you do anything is how you do everything.”
This compulsion for everything to be it’s best is exactly why I’ve been wanting to create this site for at least 18 + months and yet – I’m only starting today.
I love to write, share ideas, and pass along tips about anything and everything that makes my day smoother to just about anyone who will listen. Why should any of my friends, family or audience struggle with creating strong habits for a successful day, selling their ideas, or feeling unappreciated?!? They shouldn’t! And if someone has a tip for me about how to make my life easier – pass it over!
We can all benefit from the experience and knowledge of others, and I love to teach and share. This is why I wanted to create this site.
But what would “it” be about? What’s the theme? What’s the common thread that will hold all the content together? Should it be about marketing? Or finding success as a working mom? Or about how to create good habits and increase productivity? And then – what should it look like? I’ll obviously need a logo, a well thought out brand, and a new headshot with me in ideal lighting before I start. The perfectionist list goes on and on.
So I’ve been doing what every self-respecting perfectionist does. I’ve been keeping a notebook of all my ideas of what I’ll write about until I have this all figured out. The notebook I’ve been keeping for 18 months + might as well have a sticker on the front that says “Where Ideas Go To Die.”
I’ve been waiting to “have all my ducks in a row.” Waiting for the “right” time to start. However, I came to the realization there will never be a perfect time.
Once I had this lightbulb moment, I started seeing and hearing the message to “just start” everywhere. I’ll share the things that held me back and the inspirations that have pushed me forward in the hopes that someone reading will decided to take their first step towards their goal, or at least have their lightbulb moment.
If not you, who?
They say you are the sum of the five people you hang out with most. Does a Peloton instructor count? If you “spend time” with them consistently, I think it does. I gave up my gym membership and started working out with Peloton at home four years ago due to my hectic working-parent schedule. I instantly connected to Jess Sims because I see myself in her positivity, determination, motivation, and love for competition and games. During COVID lockdown I spent more time with her on my screen then I did with anyone outside of my husband and daughters.
Positivity, motivation, and inspiration are contagious. As you surround yourself with the inspiration of a positive mindset the way you talk to yourself and the way you think changes.
I already shared that my motto in life is “how you do anything is how you do everything.” This belief and value has been engrained in me throughout my life, but I wasn’t able to put it into words. The phrasing came from something Jess Sims says in her classes. When I heard it I was ecstatic and instantly engaged. A concept I’ve spent my life trying to verbalize was eloquently put into nine simple words.
I spend four to five days a week with Jess, and her mantras are abundant. One in particular inspired me/gave me the kick in my pants I needed to “just start.” She says “if not now, when? If not you, who?”
There’s a million reasons not to do something, and you’ll find them very easily if you just sit down and procrastinate, or over-perfectionize everything (yes – I just made that a word. Grammarly is not liking it).
There’s only ONE person who has had the exact combination of experiences you’ve had. If you don’t share, coach, sign-up for the race, write the book – whatever it is you want to do – the world and society can never benefit from it, and that would be a huge loss. That’s why I’m starting and I hope you will to.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Last year was TOUGH. With the exception of a couple life threatening scares with family members, it was the darkest period of my life. The short version for context is that I allowed a toxic situation to CONSUME my life. I felt lost, hopeless and stuck. I was miserable and it impacted my social life, relationships, family, and my physical and mental health.
2024 is much better time for me. That experience left me determined to never be in a situation like that again. I wanted to use my talents to start creating a passion project for myself. However, when you look around it’s easy to become paralyzed.
When you’re trying to get started social media can be the worst. We are bombarded with picture perfect images of people who have “made it.” Countless people touting tales of how if you just spend an hour a day doing “x” you can grow a six figure income in 3 months. That’s what is shown to us.
To make it worse, you then start looking at the websites/blogs/social channels of successful people you know of or admire. Their website and brand are perfect. They have thousands of followers. They’ve got it all figured out and here you are floundering.
STOP. Social media is a lot of smoke and mirrors. Nobody is posting about their failures, but they should. That’s some of what I’ll share in this blog. Nobody becomes an overnight success. There’s a whole lot of work behind the scenes that we don’t see. I once heard a speaker at a conference refer to this as “putting in the dark work.” He talked about getting up early, staying up late and doing whatever it takes to achieve a goal. We don’t see this side. We only see the end result. Overnight success doesn’t seem achievable because it isn’t.
Unfortunately, this reality isn’t apparent in what we see and in how we translate what we see into the stories we tell ourselves. There are different manifestations of this phenomenon.
For me, I was in a place where I knew I wanted to do SOMETHING, but I had no idea what. I’m still not sure. I looked to online communities I’m a part of and it seemed like everyone had it figured out. I bought countless books to help me uncover what might be a good creative outlet for me, but I landed in the same place.
In January I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, The Marketing Companion hosted by Mark Schaefer. In the episode Mark and his co-host Keith Jennings have an excellent dialogue about purpose – I’ll include the link below. During the conversation Mark talked about how he’s choosing what to work on at this stage in his life, but he couldn’t always do that. He explained that when he was working on getting his kids through college having a steady reliable income was number one.
It seems so silly, but this was a aha moment for me. I say it was silly because I have read countless books about navigating stages of life. I KNOW and even give the advice to others – and myself – that this might not be the season for “xyz.” I know this, but it didn’t matter. I needed to hear it from HIM. I needed to hear from someone I admire that at one time in their life they were where I am. Instantly, that gave me the belief that I can be where he is some day. It gave me the idea that maybe I’m ready to start to find my purpose.
I just explained how emotion outweighs logic. The stories we tell ourselves have more power than our educated minds. The takeaway here is to make connections and follow sources that are sharing their full story. Not just the wins.
Progress doesn’t start until you do
My first book for 2024 was Adam Grant’s “Hidden Potential.” I am a HUGE Adam Grant fan. If you haven’t listened to his podcast or read his books, start immediately after reading this. I’m yet to read a book by Adam Grant that isn’t exceptional.
“Hidden Potential” is full of fantastic information to shift your mindset. However one particular graphic felt like it was made for me at that moment. It shows the progress you make if you start today versus if you start when you feel ready. There are many other callouts throughout the book that will motivate you to get moving. I highly recommend checking it out.
For me, this blatant visual makes “just starting” a no brainer.
Grow through what you go through
I don’t get defeated easily. I am strong and resilient. 2023 was TOUGH – but I’m also a strong believer that things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. Going through that toxic year + was awful. When I was in it I was a wreck. But because of that experience I realized I needed to step out and reach my potential.
I don’t know where I’ll end up, but I do know I like to help, share, mentor, motivate, and ideate. I hope what I write will help you with whatever mountain you’re setting out to climb.
This website is a hot mess. I don’t have my perfect headshot. And I know, and hope, I’ll look back at this post in a year and think “wow – I had so much to learn.” But I’m taking my first step and starting. I hope you’ll join me for the journey.
Great stuff I referenced
The Marketing Companion – From Paycheck to Purpose: Why I Stopped Growing My Business
Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things by Adam Grant
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