I failed hard on Spring Break. My family has never taken advantage of vacationing this time of year. I don’t know if everyone else always has, and I just didn’t notice, or if something was in the water this year and everyone suddenly decided to.
Either way, about ten days before the break, I was caught off guard as my 11-year-old said, “Mom, what are we doing for Spring Break?” Clearly expecting my response to be that I had something incredible planned to surprise them with.
What did I have planned. . . a whole lotta nothing!
This is nothing new. I do this all the time when planning vacations, fun, and relaxation.
However, when it comes to work, exercise, and goals, I am a laser-focused productivity addict. I mean, come on, is there anything more thrilling than checking something off your to-do list or crushing a challenge you set for yourself? Apparently, yes – because I could have been sitting on a beach somewhere instead of hanging out in PA in the cold, rainy weather.
While I am so focused in some areas of life, I lack the discipline to take care of myself personally and push it to the side in exchange for the dopamine hit that comes with feeling like I’ve accomplished something. I get caught up in the day-to-day, ferociously fighting to stay on top of the kids’ sports and school schedules, work, the house, the laundry—you know the drill. And then I kick the can on my personal plan.
I would NEVER enter a new year at work or start a new project without a plan and expect it to be a success. So why am I doing this in my own life? If Netflix knows what I’d be interested in this summer, I should too!
This wake-up call made me realize the importance of applying my professional-planning skills to my personal life. I’m constantly creating business plans and marketing strategies, but is there such a thing as a personal plan? Google says… (drumroll) Yes, there is!
What Do YOU Want?
I started by researching what the elements of a personal plan might look like, but your personal plan needs to be just that—personally customized to what you need in your life.
Start by taking some time to reflect. Don’t skip this step, or you’ll create a generic list that mirrors what you think you SHOULD do rather than what you genuinely want to do.
Here are some questions to get you thinking.
- What’s one thing you would do if you knew there was no way you’d fail?
- What do you spend too much time doing? What don’t you spend enough time doing?
- Create a pie chart to show how much time you spend on various priorities during a typical day, such as work, family, personal, friendships, health, spirituality, and relaxation. Then, create another pie chart showing what your ideal day would look like. Compare the two. How will you get from where you are to where you want to be?
- When do you feel most alive?
- What activities or situations feel like they crush your soul?
- What are your non-negotiables?
Create YOUR outline
Now that you’ve directed your focus inward, it’s time to outline your personal plan. Decide on your categories for the year. These are the areas you want to prioritize.
Be intentional about the order in which you list your priorities. Think back to your reflection time, and put your highest priority first and your lowest priority last.
Here’s an example of my list compared to the typical list I found in my research.
| Typical List Per Google Search Results | My Personal List |
| Career Goals | Health and Wellness |
| Financial Goals | Personal Growth, Time, Interests, Ambitions |
| Health and Wellness | Relationships |
| Personal Growth | Fun |
| Relationships | Connection and Contribution |
| Contribution and Impact |
This list is the goal I will work towards. It certainly is not how I’m living my life today. I’ll share the thought process behind my list in case it could help you develop yours.
I am super proactive in looking after my friends and family’s health and wellness, but I neglect my self-care BIG TIME. Watching loved ones battle medical issues has taught me it doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve accomplished—without your health, else matters. So this takes my #1 spot and MUST become a priority.
My list doesn’t have as many categories as the ones I found in my search because I know I can’t do everything all at once. For example, I ditched financial goals this year because if I’m doing everything else right, this should take care of itself.
My plan for next year should be different because (I hope) I will be in a different place and will have made progress on what’s listed here. And, of course, I will have taken an amazing trip for Spring Break that I will tell you all about.
Ready, Set, Plan
Here are some tips to create an actionable plan and some things to look out for in the process.
Create your roadmap.
What will you do when? What does success look like for you? The format can be similar to a business plan that outlines initiatives quarter by quarter. If you try to do everything at once, it will be overwhelming, you’ll get discouraged, and you’ll probably give up and return to a life of pleasing everyone else instead of serving yourself.
Be SMART.
I know SMART goals aren’t very sexy; however, they can set you up for success with your personal plan. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Simply stated, you need to be specific, realistic, and intentional about what you want by when to ensure you can make and see progress.
I was thrilled to find a blog that discusses SMART goals in the context of life planning and wellness. It also gives 30 examples of how to use SMART goals for a personal plan—JACKPOT. The link is in the resources at the end.
You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.
Last year I read a fantastic book by Romi Neustadt called “You Can Have It All, Just Not At the Same Damn Time.” In the book, Romi explains her journey to creating her amazingly successful business and shares some cold-hard facts about what it takes to get there. It’s a great read to frame your mindset.
Here are a few things to remember as you set out to create YOUR personal plan.
- Should – remove it from your vocabulary. Should doesn’t serve you; it only convinces you to serve other people’s priorities.
- When you say yes to something, you say no to something else. There’s only so much time in a day, and every choice you make impacts everything that follows. Initially, it might feel selfish, but you won’t achieve your priorities if you’re too involved in everyone else’s. Misaligning your priorities looks different for everyone, but it might include being the classroom mom, changing your plans to work late, and going to bingo with your friend. Don’t do it if it doesn’t bring you joy or serve the things you’re trying to do. And remember, it’s likely that when you reach your goals, it benefits the loved ones around you.
- No is a complete sentence. You can give an explanation if you want, but you don’t have to. Say goodbye to guilt. It doesn’t have to be rude. You can simply say, “No, but thanks for thinking of me.”
- I’ll leave you with a passage from Romi’s book that I’ll bet many can relate to, and I encourage you to buy it for your next read.
“We women are suffering from a condition called unrealistic expectations. We contract it from each other, our critics, the voices in our head, and social media. We walk around with this idea of who we’re supposed to be, how much we’re supposed to accomplish, and how we’re supposed to look while we’re doing it. We’re trying to be all things to all people. And our to-do lists keep growing with things that we think we should do. We’re confusing having it all with doing it all. And it’s leaving us exhausted and stressed and feeling like a failure.
I didn’t feel like I was running my life. My life was running me.”
Amen, sister!
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Fantastic Resources I Mentioned
Buy “You Can Have It All, Just Not At The Same Damn Time” by Romi Neustadt
30 Wellness and Mindset Focused Smart Goals on Chasing Foxes
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