In the Spring, it occurred to me that my oldest daughter is 12 years old, and every single PTO day I’ve taken in the last 12 + years was to spend time with my kids over the holidays, get them ready for back to school, attend a school event/tournament, or take a family “vacation” – and anyone with kids knows while they are full of family fun and precious moments, there’s nothing relaxing about a family vacation.
It’s been over TWELVE years since I had a peaceful, undisturbed moment, to think about what I actually want, instead of playing calendar Jenga with work, TeamSnap schedule changes, orthodontist appointments, and whatever mystery activity I apparently volunteered for, all while figuring out if I can teleport back to the soccer field in time for pick up.
I’m so busy trying not to screw anything up, figuring out what’s next and where I need to be, that I have no idea if I’m content, fulfilled, or just a hot mess fueled by caffeine and calendar alerts.
So, I decided to remedy that. It wasn’t easy, but I scoured the calendar and found two consecutive days to take off and be completely, blissfully alone. . . at least until the end of the school day.
I spent the first day relaxing on the beach with my book. I left the second day open, just to see what it feels like to wake up with a completely free day to do whatever my heart decides. It gave me time to reflect, and here’s what came up for me. I encourage you to do the same; you might be surprised by what surfaces.
Slow Down. Show Up.
I like who I am so much more when I have space to breathe, when I’m not drowning in obligations or racing the clock. I’m more giving. More calm. More loving. And most importantly, more present.
But when the tasks pile up and the hours disappear, I start stealing from the time that matters most. I sit next to my daughter, pretending to unwind, while my laptop glows between us. She watches the show. I watch the deadlines. And just like that, I miss the moment.
Mental Health? I’ll Schedule That Right After This Meeting . . .
I have the discipline to crush deadlines and never miss a workout. Those non-negotiable boxes get checked no matter what. But when it comes to caring for my emotional or mental well-being, or putting the same energy into my personal life? That discipline disappears. Maybe it’s because by the time I’ve handled work, all the running, and everything in between, there’s nothing left in the tank.
That’s why I have the utmost admiration for Simone Biles. Seeing her set a boundary on the world stage hit me so hard. With the highest stakes imaginable and the entire globe watching, she chose to prioritize herself. She protected her mental health, even when it meant disappointing others. Meanwhile, I’ve been so sick I could barely sit upright, yet I sat at my desk in tears, agonizing over whether it was okay to skip a client happy hour.
True story…
Embarrassing, I know.
Plot Twist: I Don’t Actually Hate People!
I thought two solo days would feel like paradise. Turns out, I wasn’t craving isolation at all. I was craving breathing room. Once the overload dialed down, I didn’t want everyone to stay away, I wanted to enjoy being with them without the mental traffic jam. Once my head was clear, the quiet actually felt a little lonely, and I was excited for the crew – and all their wild energy – to come home. A trip to the dollar store with my daughter where she aimlessly strolls the aisles for what feels like forever choosing the perfect trinket? Yes, please.
What used to feel like a chore suddenly became… dare I say fun? Wandering the aisles, debating sticker sheets, laughing over silly toys. The errand didn’t change, my bandwidth did, and that shift turned an everyday task into time I genuinely wanted to savor.
Alexa, Add “Love” To The Shopping List
My two-day vacay happened to be the week of Father’s Day. As I had a quiet moment to think, what hit me was how little I’d prepared for my husband. Not because I don’t care, but because I run on fumes. In recent years, holidays have become just another item on the list. We say to each other, “Can you just send me a link to what you want?”
I mean… nothing says romance like a forwarded shopping link.
It didn’t used to be that way.
In the early years of our marriage, I’d go all out. I’d cook for his coworkers. I’d dream up creative gifts for Father’s Day and be so excited to give them to him. I put time, love, and energy into those moments, and I want that back.
Somewhere along the way, I started saving all my best energy for work. For everyone else. And what’s left at the end of the day doesn’t make it to the people who matter most.
I don’t want to live like that.
I want to bring the same creativity, attention, and heart that I pour into my professional life into my personal life too. Because this isn’t just about balance. It’s about remembering who I am and who I want to be for the people I love.
Filtering the Unfiltered?!?
I’m shrinking and censoring myself with my content. And isn’t that the exact opposite of why I created Life Unfiltered?
I’m trying to package everything up just right. Tidy themes. Polished takeaways. But the truth is I have so much to say that doesn’t fit in a neat little box. And that annoying little perfectionist voice in the back of my head? It’s been louder than ever. Discouraging me. Making me second-guess.
At my core, I know what I’m here to do. Teach. Coach. Write. It’s the work that lights me up. But then the doubts creep in…
What if I write too much about marketing and lose the people who don’t care about it?
What if I get too personal and my business peers stop tuning in?
What if my content goes off the path and Google can’t figure out what I want to be known for??
And yet, the most meaningful moments have come when someone quietly pulls me aside to say: “Thank you. I’m so glad you wrote that article. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one feeling it.”
So here’s what I realized: by holding back certain topics, or waiting until I can write the perfect long-form piece – which takes me absolutely forever – I’m actually doing a disservice. Not just to myself, but to the people who might need to hear what I have to say.
I’ve been writing for everyone, and that’s a mistake.
From now on, I’m writing for someone. That one person who might feel less alone because of it.
Not everything I write will be for everyone. And if it doesn’t land with them? That’s okay. Skip it.
But I’m done filtering. Done waiting. Get ready for more honest, imperfect, deeply me content. Because I’d rather be real than polished. And I think you would too.
You Can Choose You Too!
I’m so glad I had the discipline to take those two days, AND stick to it. I almost canceled the week before (because, of course I did), but something in me knew I needed the break more than I needed to check another box.
No, two days didn’t undo over a decade of self-neglect. But it cracked the door open. It reminded me what it feels like to breathe, to think, to just be – without the constant noise. I got to be with me for the first time in a long time. And ya know what? That Renee McIntyre, she’s actually a pretty cool chick.
And now? I’m committed to doing it more often. Not just for me, but for the people I love who deserve the best version of me.
If any part of this resonated with you, here’s your nudge: carve out the time. Don’t wait for the perfect window. You don’t need a week. You need a decision.
Sometimes you have to step away just long enough to remember who the f*#$ you are.
And when you do? Don’t be surprised if you actually like what you find.
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