I went to the PA Conference for Women last week for the all-star speaker lineup.
Mel Robbins holds a top spot on my bucket list + Hoda Kotb and Cynthia Erivo – does it get any better? Three women I deeply admire. I figured it would be fun, and likely inspiring. A few golden nuggets to scribble in my notebook.
What I got was much more.
The day was full of different speakers from wildly different paths. There was no shared script, but somehow their words wove together like they’d rehearsed it for weeks. It seemd like every message built on the last, and felt like the universe had stitched them together just for me. Exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right moment.
Some were a kick in the pants. Others a gentle “wake up sis, you’re playing too small.” The day brought much-needed perspective and a shift of focus.
I barely took any notes which never happens. I’m usually feverishly taking notes, capturing every insight. But here, I was so engaged. Hanging on the speakers’ every word. I only paused long enough to write down three quotes, because they were so powerful it was like they reached out and grabbed me.
Maybe they’ll do the same for you?
Be Quiet
I often find I’ll hear the same message on repeat, from different people, in different ways, when I need it the most. Then poof! It stops once I finally listen.
I was listening to a Mel Robbins podcast earlier this year where she explained, “More than half of people surveyed made a life-changing decision while they were on vacation. I have made all my major life decisions that way. I have quit a job. I have decided that I’m going to go to therapy. When? When I’m on a beach or when I’m in the mountains staring at the beautiful, endless horizon.”
Changing your environment and breaking out of your daily routine brings a fresh perspective. We need to step away from the busyness to remember who we are and what we truly want, or even just to imagine what’s possible.
That podcast episode is what inspired me to take a solo trip earlier this year. I wrote about it in my post “From Overbooked to Overjoyed in 48 Hours Flat.“ And while that reset carried me through a chaotic summer (think: early morning swim practice, late evening swim meets, and kids home all summer + a hectic first-floor reno), I can feel the clarity fading. The edges of what matters are starting to blur again. A new season is here. So is the noise, and the message is repeating.
During the conference, Jesse Israel, best-selling author and keynote speaker, shared an incredible personal story about his work as a counselor at a camp for underprivileged children. It was fun and inspiring, but also frequently loud and chaotic. One day, a young girl tugs on his sleeve and asks him to come outside the lunch hall so she can talk to him. She shares some deep and upsetting information about her life at home and then asks if they can sit in the quiet.
Flash forward, because I can’t just leave you hanging, Jesse helps the little girl, and the trajectory of her life changes for the better. But while the story he shares is moving, the metaphor is what’s most important.
There is just SO. MUCH. NOISE. From weird reddit thread notifications that I never signed up for, (I mean some of these are really weird, but it’s like a train wreck you just can’t look away from), to overflowing email inboxes, to eight different school and sports apps to check daily; how could we ever have a minute for our brain to have an original thought or dare I say imagine what we might want in life.
We need to make the time. Break the routine. Take the trip. Change the scenery. Because if we don’t listen for that inner voice, how can we ever hear it?
What You See Depends on Where You Look
Hoda Kotb gave a beautiful, grounded talk about timing, grit, and staying open to unexpected blessings. She’s got this warm way of delivering truths that feel both gentle and unshakeable. She shared details about getting her start, and how many no’s it took to get a yes – which she reminded the audience… you only need one.
Perspective is everything. Hoda talked about an interview she had with an actress (I wish I could remember who). The actress had told Hoda about a conversation she had with Robert De Niro, who said,
“You’re a magnificent actress, but you’re going to have to work incredibly hard because you’re a black woman.”
Hoda took a pause to take it in.
The actress repeated:
“Did you hear what I said?… Robert De Niro said I’m a magnificent actress!”
Boom.
I felt that. Deeply.
Lately I’ve been feeling… underappreciated. Maybe even undervalued. Possibly taken advantage of.
I keep telling myself what I tell my kids: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And it helps. Until it doesn’t. Until the scroll starts again. Until that devilish little voice creeps into my mind, and the cycle loops back.
Situations happen. People will disappoint us. The grind won’t stop. The only thing I can truly control is where I choose to look.
Where I fix my gaze matters.
Motivation is Garbage
Last but not least, my reason for attending, Mel Robbins!
Mel is so incredibly inspiring because she is relatable, she’s no fluff, and she’s beautifully vulnerable. It was clear from the way the room of 9,000 women burst into applause as she took the stage that I’m not the only one who feels that way.
I’ve read many of Mel’s books, listened to her podcast, and expected her talk to be a recap of what I already heard.
“You have to learn how to take action when you don’t feel like it.”
I thought to myself, “well, I’ve got that covered. I get up EARLY every day, work out, absolutely slay work and then some, help my kids with school, and never miss getting them to sports or activities.” Check. Done.
Mel continued. “Motivation’s garbage. Garbage.” Uh oh.
“Because fear of what other people think, fear that you’re too late, fear of all this stuff is stopping you from taking the actions that change your life. I mean, stop and think. If you just did all the things that you don’t feel like doing, oh my God you’d have a million dollars.”
Fear of what other people think stops me from changing my life. #truth.
She’s right. As disciplined as I am, with the thickest of thick skin, I’m afraid of being judged and misunderstood. Of trying something bold and being told I’m too much.
What if someone on Facebook (which mind you, I don’t even use. I only syndicate posts from IG automatically) doesn’t understand why I’m posting about my work? Ridiculous… Who cares? Especially since I haven’t spoken to some of those people in over 25 years!
What if my content doesn’t resonate?? . . . What if it does.
Most of the time, we don’t need more time or more motivation. We just need to move.
What About You?
I know every woman at that conference walked away with different truths. These were mine.
And maybe they’re yours too.
So here’s your challenge:
What’s the quote, the whisper, the moment you’ve been ignoring because life is too loud?
Find a quiet minute. Listen. And let it speak.
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